Some thoughts on the bully issue

  1. It is horrible that any child would choose suicide. It is not just about being Gay, but about a child. A child who saw no way to change the situation, no way to get out or it, or talk to anyone in authority to change it. So he chose to make a statement. Not by hurting everyone outside of himself or rebelling as kids do, but by hurting himself. Rebellion is normal and often overlooked by adults, as a teenage statement it is frowned upon and punished. But how else is a kid supposed to express discontent when no one will listen? Well if you kill yourself there is no repercussion and you don’t have to live with the consequences.
  2. Children will find any excuse to point out differences. They are taught this at an early age.

    It takes a while for us to accept and tolerate anything new and different. This is healthy.

  3. Bullying is built into our society, it is a way to amend and change behavior or remove that behavior by an out showing of intolerance and nonacceptance. The violence that comes with it is not o.k. nor is hate a healthy emotion. It is, however, somewhat natural and should be treated as if it were an allergic reaction or tourett’s, treated with knowledge and countered with love.
  4. It is also interesting to experiment. We a curious, social creatures, children even more so. What better experiment is there than your fellow man? Why not fuck with the kid next to you and see what happens? It might just make you more popular.
  5. In a child’s life they have little to no control or power except over their peers. People who have very little power often abuse it, often become tyrants, this is true in adults as well.
  6. If you are an individual, a free thinker, a little different or geeky, or flamboyantly gay you need a tougher skin or maybe a brick facade. Most queens I know are tough as nails on the outside and little girls on the inside. They don’t survive by showing everyone their sensitive side. I am sure that on their path there are many heartbreaks and scars but we all have that, to some extent, and it makes us learn. In life, in anyone’s life, you have to learn who to let in. It is a disturbing part of growing up.
  7. The “don’t say gay” slogan and the new stop bullying campaign. While good looking on the outside hide the inner monster. We already make our children conform outwardly, now we have begun scanning them for thought crimes and deviance. Any perceived sign, overt or covert, of violence, bigotry, or radicalism and the child is yanked from school. Ostracized, he or she is put into a room with juvenile convicts and dropouts and truant cases. The child is no longer on track; no longer has the same destination as the rest of the herd. This will be useful in two ways. One, it will give the child a sense of injustice and cynicism early on so they will remove themselves from the system that has ostracized them. Two, The child will be marked as a delinquent to society and his or her peers and they will be cut off from socializing with any one but the hard cases. The chips will be stacked against them from the get go. As a free thinker any child deviating from the new “norm” is going to have a tough time. Better to stay hidden and work from the inside, being careful not to get brainwashed.
  8. This is more about guidance counselors. The guidance counselors are not a placement office, they do a horrible job at that too, but that is not their primary function. They are not recruiters for our military, the military has people on the payroll for that already. They seem to be there to weed out the mentally sensitive and mark them as outcast, but that should not be their function either. If they were doing their job this would not have happened. The adults could have squashed this and any bullying as soon as it starts. The Counselor should have been available for any child to come and talk to, it is their job to analyze and spot potential hotbeds before they happen. Not that they are fortune tellers, they are preventative maintenance, a pressure release valve for the student population. If they are available to all the children, not just the “problem” kids, these counselors could spot these potential disasters. I am referring also to the the shootings that occurred in our schools not too long ago.



    To sum it up, the tragedy that occurred was not just to a gay person, or a kid but to the community. A kid that had been coddled and never allowed to have his feelings hurt made a powerful statement and sacrificed his life so we would hear it. He had no one to talk to and no one that would listen. He was was either unable or unwilling to connect with other people, I believe he was unable. And the victims will be our children because we have misunderstood the message.



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